Absence and Return

“I tramp a perpetual journey.” ― Walt Whitman, Song of Myself

The expected first entry after a long hiatus from blogging is usually an apology from the author. But you know what? I’m not here to apologize. In the past year, I took a full time administrative job, found a biologic medication that works for me, convinced my insurance company to pay for said biologic, served as a PCORI reviewer (twice), started dancing again, and completed my PhD in American Studies with a dissertation on memory, girlhood, and American literature for children and young adults. I’ll save the full story of how all I accomplished all that, while juggling the limitations and crises that come with chronic illness, for (multiple) upcoming posts.

As someone who is now officially in “remission” (which still boggles my mind), I sometimes forget how sick I was, and for how long. This blog forces me to remember, to keep the memories from fading into hazy approximation. My memories of the years I spent suffering (and the chance that I might suffer that way again) power my commitment to advocacy and scholarship on chronic illness and disability. There’s still so much work to be done, so many conversations to be had: about pain, about access to medications and healthcare, about how chronic illnesses are perceived in contemporary culture, and the impact this has on the lives of those who live with those illnesses and the medical research that might treat, or even cure them. I have a lot more to say, and I’m going to say it here.